Fighting the Holiday Procrastination Bug
Friday, January 13th, 2012
Don’t get me wrong, I really enjoy shooting photographs and I don’t even mind pushing all of those digital images through post within hours of arriving home. I also enjoy shooting film more than digital. However, my Christmas holiday seems to have evolved into an actual holiday rather than an exploited opportunity.
“I had plans, man,” says the little voice in the back of my head. “I was going to spend the summer nailing down the details of the Neill-Fraser case by scouring and cross-referencing her trial transcripts. Perhaps some interviews. Only I never did receive those transcripts to scour… and, well, one thing led to another and I stopped leaving the house (again) and kept putting off shooting photographs because the light wasn’t perfect.”
That me, the little voice in the back of my head with excuses, is a total bastard to live with, too. You probably have no idea. Or maybe you do. Maybe you’re also a sucker for waking up at 6.30am only to check emails, RSS feeds and scour your Twitter stream. And, hey, I know that in the real world none of this electronic social bullshit matters… but I get sucked into it way too easily.
And I’m a sucker for watching films… so subscribing to a DVD mail service is probably like a junkie picking up a casual ounce of brown heroin. I’m a brown heroin pig with an addiction to film. Foreign cinema. Science fiction. Thriller. Brown stained teeth from drinking good quality coffee from a stovetop espresso maker.
So here I am in my last six weeks of the Christmas holiday. I’m dreading another year at university studying post-graduate journalism. Both cameras sit behind me on a shelf primed for action. Rarely used.
At least, rarely used in the context of my expectation. But then… when you’re shooting with a DSLR I’m not sure 1,000 or 2,000 images in a given day is doing anything more than exploiting the technology. I’m not sure being a Flickr bitch is any more effective than becoming a member of any group or gang – pressure towards consensus and conformity, for example. I’m not sure poking my camera into a stranger’s business is even that challenging.
More recently, I prefer to slow down… I’m thinking about the light a lot more… and it’s not enough for me to grab pretty pictures, clean or otherwise. I’m thinking more about ways to achieve a long-term project.
But there is a seething core in me that knows the truth. I’ve procrastinated away at least two thirds of my Christmas holiday. I haven’t achieved any significant work, I haven’t been taking the cameras out… and I haven’t been in optimal physical or mental condition as a result.
The little voice in my head has spent the Summer hitting me up with excuses. He’d prefer to drink booze and watch movies. The bastard.
